Return of a God
by Special Agent FUNK
Summary: Chris misses Wesker and decides there's only one way to ease his pain; By bringing Wesker back to life. But how do you bring a dead man back to life? With the help of Leon, a mirror and a spooky voice.


Hi! I'm on hiatus, and whenever that happens, inspiration for different things strikes. It's annoying, but keeps me busy. I call it one-shot-itus. There is no cure.  
Gotta do something with my time if there's no internet connection due to thunderstorms.

**I don't own RE. Or the short verses from songs. **

**Inspired by;** The movies Candyman, Mirrors and Urban Legends.

**Don't ask, just enjoy.**

* * *

_The streets are empty, inside it's warm. His hands are shaking, they lock the door. A voice is calling, asking to get in…_

"Kennedy! Let me in!"

Leon had only just locked the door when the voice came from outside. The man shook his head and shrugged, it was best not to leave a Redfield standing outside in the cold. They had a tendency to get sick easily.

"Hey Chris…" Leon greeted the larger man as he stepped in, and closed the door for the second time in two minutes. "What brings you here on this heathen hour?"

"Cold. Bus. Tires." Chris Redfield, ever since he had killed Albert Wesker, had not been talking as much as he used to. "I'm cold because I missed the bus, and my tires are empty."

Leon frowned and pointed at the kitchen. "Go warm up then."

Chris disappeared into the kitchen, and a few seconds later running water was heard. The man had apparently decided to make tea, so Leon figured he was going to stick around for a while. "Damn Redfields, always think everything belongs to them." He shrugged again and went after Chris. "Ahwell."

_Created a kingdom, reached for the wisdom. Failed in becoming a God…_

"What's wrong with you these days, man? You've been acting annoyingly annoying." Leon smirked because he found that a stupid sentence, but Chris didn't seem to notice. "You've been quiet, too."

"I never was much of a talker."

Chris and Leon had gotten settled on Leon's couch, and were chatting a little. Or at least that's what Leon wanted to do. Chris, however, seemed too busy with his own thoughts to notice. The poor man didn't seem as big anymore, constantly looking at the ground, almost appearing depressed.

Leon nodded. "Sure, but… C'mon, man, what's wrong?"

Chris shrugged wildly, looking slightly childish. "It's nothing, really."

"Come on, Redfield, you can tell me." Leon inhaled slowly while trying to crush a beercan with one hand. He wanted Chris' strength quite badly. "Or do you want me to… call Claire?"

"No!" Chris' head jerked back and almost collided with the wall behind him. "Don't call Claire, she's always worried, I don't want to bother her."

"Then you'll have to tell me."

Chris rolled his eyes and muttered something under his breath. The only word Leon could understand was 'him'.

"Excuse me?" Leon replied.

"I miss him." Chris muttered, a little louder this time.

"Miss who?"

"The pseudo-God. Wesker. Albert Wesker, King of plotting, betraying and talking funny."

Leon was at the loss of words for a moment. Out of all things he was expecting, he was expecting this the least. For several years Chris had been obsessed with only two things… One was finding and killing that mouse in his attic, and two was finding and killing Wesker. Two very similar stories, except for the fact that said mouse didn't have a God-complex. Or at least that's what Leon hoped. "I don't like cheese."

"Cheese?"

Leon shook his head. "Never mind." He sighed. "I understand though… Somehow. I sometimes miss Krauser, who was probably the Prince of scars, powers and talking funny… Now that I think of it, all of Wesker's employees talk funny."

"I bet it's a virus. The T-virus makes people talk funny, it's called that for a reason."

"But the T stands for Tyrant?"

Chris cocked an eyebrow. "Ever heard a Tyrant say something logical?"

"Hm."

"You know…" Chris started. "I told Jill, but she says I'm crazy. You know, for missing the man who failed at becoming a god." He pouted. "I serve no purpose anymore."

Leon scratched the back of his head and patted Chris on the back. It was all he could do at that moment. That and… "Beer?"

Chris nodded. "Why not."

_Pray for me 'cause I have lost my faith in holy wars. Is paradise denied to me, 'cause I can't take no more?_

Minutes ticked by, and a small pile of beer cans was forming under Leon's coffee table. Though the subjects became more serious after several drinks, the logic seemed to disappear. It was a curse, but it didn't matter, because eventually they would fall asleep, and after waking up in the morning, they wouldn't remember anything anymore.

"I don't want to chase people to the end of the world anymore." Chris scratched his throat and slung an arm around Leon's shoulders. "Because I have lost my faith in holy wars."

"Whut?" Leon giggled and squeezed his eyes shut because the table was moving. "Why is it moving?"

"It wants to move? Listen Leon… Listen good… I do not remember what I was going to say, so it must've been a lie."

Leon firmly planted his feet on the table, hoping it would stop moving. "Lies… Wait? About Wesker?"

"I now remember… I was gonna say that I keep doing the things that are right, but they never make me feel better. Apart from chasing Wesker, nothing ever amused me. And that mouse in my attic now has a family. A family, Leon! And what do I have? No more cheese!"

Leon shook his head and sighed. "I don't like cheese."

"I do like cheese!" Chris yelled loudly. "I like cheese, but I have no cheese! I have no cheese, no kids and no sex!"

"Aw man, I hear ya! Last time I got something was months ago! And it was with… Ada. Who's not that great in the sack." Leon frowned. "Or in the bathroom, forest or on the table."

"Ada is hot." Chris grabbed another beer and smirked. "But if she's not good… Well… This is because we're _so_ good. We kill zombies, villains and eh, mice if we're lucky, but we never get what we want! We should change that! We should…" Chris snickered. "We should…"

"We should what?" Leon asked, almost throwing up because of how curious he was. And because of the beer.

"We should bring Wesker back!"

Leon cheered loudly. "Yes we should! But… I don't know CPR."

"Oh… Well, we'll have to find another way then, 'cause I ain't touching him."

For a small amount of time there was complete silence in Leon's house, as the men thought of ways to bring people back from the dead. Chris was urged to suggest using the Dragonballs, but quickly remembered his last encounter with Goku, and did not want to go through something like that again. Especially not with Vegeta hiding in the background.  
Leon wanted to suggest using magic, but then realized he didn't know how to use the magic. The closest he ever came to using magic was on that one day he opened his car-door from quite a distance, and that only required a remote, so he doubted that would work on Wesker.

Suddenly, Chris had an idea. "Mirrors!"

_Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who's the sickest one of all? Mirror, mirror, split in two, look at me, who are you?_

Chris was explaining his plan to Leon, because he thought he had found the pot of gold. "You see, if you look into the mirror and chant 'Candyman' five times, he comes to kill you with his hook."

"Ewww…" Leon breathed.

"The same goes for Bloody Mary. If you chant her name in front of a candle-lit mirror several times, she'll appear too. She might kill you, but she might not. I heard of people trying it and dying. I think that's what happened to Brad."

"Brad?" Leon repeated Chris.

"Brad Vickers. They say it was Nemesis, but seeing as Jill won't believe me when I say Pickachu evolves into Raichu, I won't believe her if she says Nemesis killed Vickers."

Leon nodded. "Fair enough… So we summon Candyman Mary and then ask him where Wesker is?"

Chris shook his head and smiled. "We summon Wesker! We'll just chant his name in front of a mirror, and he might appear!"

"What if he kills us?"

"Just make sure you've got your gun ready when we do it… Well? What do you say?"

"Fine." Leon got up and grabbed a candle from his closet. He walked to the bathroom, closely followed by Chris, and stood in front of the mirror. Quietly, as if to seem serious, he lit the candle, turned the light off and breathed in deeply. "Here goes… No wait, you do it!"

Leon and Chris switched places, snickering like a bunch of teenagers that are planning to get drunk for the first time, though that obviously wasn't the case.

Chris glanced at his reflection in the mirror and smirked. He was nervous, but he also felt as if he was doing the right thing. "Well then…" He whispered. "Albert Wesker."

Leon gasped behind him, but nothing happened. That would be pretty odd after saying it only once, seeing as that would probably mean Wesker had appeared in many bathrooms already.

Redfield lowered his voice. "Al-bert-Wes-ker… Aaaaalbeeeert Weeeeskeeer…"

Leon grabbed his handgun just to be sure, he didn't want to be caught off-guard.

Chris continued. "Albert Weskerrrrr!" He snickered while he rolled his r, he almost sounded European. "Albert! Wesker!"

"I don't think this is working…"

Ignoring Leon, Chris lowered his voice even more. "Albert Wesker… Albert Wesker…" He laughed like a crazy person because he was getting more nervous every time he uttered the name. "Albert Wesker? Albert Wesker! Albert Wesker…."

The candle flickered shortly, but nothing happened.

"Wesker? Wesker… Albert Wesker!" Chris was getting carried away. "Wesker I miss you, come back, come back! Weskeerrrrrrrrr!"

Suddenly the candle went out and all was dark around Leon and Chris, apart from the glow-in-the-dark stars Leon had stuck to his shower curtain. Nothing was showing in the mirror, but something was off, both men could feel it.

"Breathing down my neck…" Leon muttered. "Breathing… down my neck… Eeeh…"

Chris turned around and hit the switch, causing the light to go on in the bathroom. And, like Leon said, Chris saw someone breathing down his friend's neck. It was the man who wears his sunglasses at night and apparently no clothes at all in the after-life.

Albert Wesker had returned.

Once the confusion wore off, Wesker shot his former enemy a nasty look. "Christopher! Did you really need to summon me while I was getting changed?" He held up a black sock. "This is ridiculous!"

Chris let out a weird sigh, toppled over and landed on the bathroom floor, unconscious. Leon saw his friend go down and gasped. "No! Chris! This is not the right moment to pass out! He's naked!"

But Chris didn't hear it. He was off to dreamland.

_Dance with the dead in my dreams, listen to their hallowed screams…_

The next morning, Chris woke up with a raging headache and a bump on his cheek. A bit confused he felt his face and sighed. "Dang Leon, we really went all out, didn't we? I don't even want to know what caused that bump."

Groaning, the man stood up from the couch he had somehow ended up on, and made his way to the bathroom. He felt a bit odd, as if something was wrong but he couldn't figure out what, and opened the door. Only a second later he came back out with the speed of light, tripped over a jacket and ended up on the ground once again, but this time remaining conscious. The only thing he was able to bring out was, "Leon! Why the FUCK is there a naked Wesker in your bathroom?"

Leon's quick reply came from upstairs. "I know, isn't it great? I'm summoning Krauser as we speak!"

* * *

So... Yeah... I had too much fun writing this, and though it was supposed to be a two or three-shot, I think it's better off as a one-shot.  
Hope you liked it! If ya did, I'm pleased. If ya didn't... Well, at least you killed some time?

Until some other time,  
FUNK


End file.
